Breaking up is not a pleasant process! It is strange that we have excessive knowledge about drug/alcohol addiction; co-dependency and mental or physical abuse that we get support from many institutions and government recovery programs.
But the funny thing is when a relationship ends… (After years)… of being part of our lives, we ‘re just left alone and some how miraculously we supposed to just shake it off and magically get over that big mess.
Do you think it is that simple! Yet, nowhere will you find any recovery program run by government or private organization to help those who got dumped in a relationship.. Nowhere you will find help on this matter. The only thing I see is some lame therapy which (NORMALLY) doesn’t work.
Do you think your friends will help you, those that have never been in the same situation? I don’t think so…
My friend Rebecca used to say that Somehow, somewhere, you’ve to get some help from someone. She believes that you can always get a solution from someone in your family, neighborhood, at work and from people on the street. She says, you can get someone honest and open to support you. She believes that there are people who understand your situation, and can help.
A lot of people will tell you to dig down to find what went wrong, but they forget the fact that it is over and try to solve it is a waste of time.
You will want to talk to others to learn their situation so that you can relate your pain and get support. You can mourn until the cows come home or go crazy, you can change your whole life but that will not help.
This is what you should do..
Try to do something new about yourself. What is your potential, what is your strength, what can you do that can give you a very good feeling?
Remember there is a saying that, “the idle mind is the house of the devil”. If you occupy your mind with excess time, to do new things you will get better and better.
Stop harming yourself by doing things like excessive smoking/drinking, these things will backfire when you find yourself caught up in addictive activities.
Do you have any kind of music you like? Then go ahead and listen, this will make you happier. It will bring you to those good memories, the one that makes you feel great.
Find a trusted person you can talk it out. Sometime you just want to get all your thoughts out of your mind, so that you can feel better. If you can have someone to listen while you pour your thought, it will easy your day.
There is this tendency to blaming oneself after break up, most people reach a point where they start to have some illusion that something is wrong with them. They create some beliefs (whether they know it or not) that, they did something wrong that’s why they ex partner walked away.
You should avoid these kinds of beliefs…
I’ll tell you this though, there is nothing wrong with you, sometime things just don’t work out the way we want them to be.
Since during break up your emotions are so charged up, use this time to communicate to yourself better. What I mean here is to learn the language your body talks. For example when you feel sad, your head might point down a bit.
When you’re nervous you might have some cold sweat or you might lose your appetite when you are angry. All these are signals your body is sending to you to communicate how you really feel (subconsciously) about yourself.
Every one is different, and the way we process our emotion is very different, so you have to learn how your body communicate. This is important because during break up, it is easy to note these things because your body is highly charged emotionally.
It is good to have a friend, around you to talk to, this will help you to feel loved and easy the pain. Do things together with your friend will help you to get occupy, you won’t be thinking about break up.
Learning new things will help you to focus all your energy into something productive, rather than destructive one (anger). So, take a language class or something that will be beneficial in the long run. You can even take a dancing class that will help you to interact with other people.
Forget Your Ex technology will take you by hand to show you how to recover your break up very quickly..
You learn how to heal as quickly as possible…I mean in a short time… and you will be able to move on in your life. Do the things you like to do…feeling more powerful and loved. That is the only way to survive a break up, otherwise you will just be mourning all day long with your ex pain..