Moving on after a relationship break up is not easy for some. Psychologists say that going through a relationship breakup, is like going through the grieving process. Well if you compare the two, you can see a number of similarities. In both cases, you are loosing someone you loved and psychologically, your mind is not willing to let them go. So you can get over a bad break up using similar principles like grieving.
It’s important to learn how relationships turn sour, and how to recognize the symptoms. Then you need to take on board some useful advice for managing break ups, such as support groups and keeping a positive mind. People who are mourning use the same advice to get over their loss.
Firstly you need to understand that break ups are a part of life and also part of relationships. Relationships end all the time. If you hadn’t broken up with someone before, you probably wouldn’t have experienced the intense feelings that you felt with the partner you are breaking up with now. Think as well of the future; you won’t be able to share unique experiences and feelings with a future partner if you don’t get over and move on after the break up.
Types of Break Ups
Not all break ups are the same. Different break ups may create different emotions such as, deep sadness and depression, anger or maybe even belief. Here are the three different classifications:
(1) You’re the one who’s breaking up – This type of break up is obviously the easiest and it will give you little, if no trouble at all to get over. The decision will make you feel better, fresher than being in the relationship.
(2) The partner decided to break up – This is the hardest type of break up, since the other part chose to break up and you are left to pick up the pieces. This is the main subject of this article.
(3) Both parties decide – This happens when the parties have mutually agreed to go their separate ways. This is the best and the rarest type of break up, where the individuals care about the feelings of the other and they reason and openly discuss.
Knowing what type of break up you’re going through, will help you come to terms with the idea and will help you in starting to get over it. It’s not so plain sailing, since you may over and over again, go through the uncertainty and you may ask yourself why the two of you are apart.
How to Move On
Once you come to terms with the fact that break ups happen in life and that they will happen to you, then you can move on to the golden rule of break ups.
Declare to yourself the belief that it’s necessary to get over the person who broke up with you. Unfortunately a good number of people resist the break up, and resist getting over the person. It happens way too often. Even worse than resisting getting over the person, where one part of you wants to move on while the other is still holding on, is that some people are not aware of this conflict that is going on in their mind. This conflict may leave you drained mentally and emotionally and you won’t be in full control of your thoughts.
Always know what you want – get over the break up and ask yourself why you are so resistant at moving on. Ask yourself what makes you attracted to this person, what you really like about him that makes him so special and why can’t you get over him? This way you will clarify your emotions and get to know yourself better. Once your mind is clear, you will get a sense of direction for your life. You will know exactly what you want and you won’t have any more second thoughts.
If you have a choice of going to a Greek island or Spain for a holiday, and you can’t make up your mind because you want to visit both places, you will end up not visiting either one of them!
If you haven’t made up your mind about what you want from life, you won’t achieve anything but a feeling of frustration. You will feel unsure of yourself, since you will constantly investigate your feelings to try to understand your true desire. So before taking the plunge and getting involved in another relationship, try understand your feeling first…Gather information about yourself from your family and friends and most importantly from yourself. When you are satisfied that you know yourself as well as your dreams and aspirations well, then move on and never look back again.
You learn how to heal as quickly as possible…I mean in a short time… and you will be able to move on in your life. Do the things you like to do…feeling more powerful and loved. That is the only way to survive a break up, otherwise you will just be mourning all day long with your ex pain..