You know you have been heart broken and you are probably at a point that you think you have no hope; you think that you can’t go anywhere.
But before we go on, you have to understand that having a richer life is the most important thing anyone can have. It is very important to understand that your life is not meant to be miserable, not the kind of life that you have to be sad all day long.
Imaging the kind of life that you feel happy with the people you love. All you want to is be happy, a kind of person who says, well life is so good, people are good everything is great . Can you picture that?
Now, I know that you want to get over a broken heart, you are probably in a lot of pain and you want to get rid of all problems you are facing. If you really want to feel happy again you have to do the things that will make you happy or move on a new relationship.
These are the things you have to consider.
Know that you are NOT in relationship anymore; you need to accept that, its over. Then you have to change the way you think about your situation. I’ll tell you a good example of someone who stayed in a bad relationship for years, hurting herself with that abusive husband.
This was a friend of mine named June. She is a very intelligent woman but after being in a bad relationship for a long time she started to believe that she is a bad person, a person who deserve to be treated that way. Some of this was learnt when she was a child.
As a child, June’s mother used to tell her that she is stupid and all her life she was trying to prove herself that she is not stupid. In Most of her early life she was able to get around that but when she got married, her husband started to call her different names that diminished her.
After sometime she started to relive her early life and believe that she is stupid. Her husband kept abusing her to the point that she couldn’t take it anymore; this is when she decided to get over her husband
As you already know that it is not easy to go though a divorce, it wasn’t easy for June either. Although it was not easy, she managed to escape that abusive life. She was able to divorce him and have a full custody of all her three children.
Well, that was not easy but the biggest problem was to forget all that pain, her husband had been calling on her all the time they had been together.
Ups and Downs
You see, no matter how you feel right now, you will get some ups and downs and you will be tempted to go back to your ex, but let me tell you this no matter how you want to go back, remember that this is just a process of getting recovered.
You will always feel this way, you cannot live this life without any loss, sometime in our life we experience this but it will always makes us stronger.
Don’t Feel Ashamed
Never feel shame about the situation; you are not a FAILURE but the RELATIONSHIP fail. Never and I mean never feel like you are done with your life. Life still goes on and you need to become attentive with everything you do because if you start to develop distracting behavior (like excessive drinking) it going to get worse.
Some people try to get over the pain by trying to do things that destroy themselves. They do these things to easy the pain but it just worsens the situation. So be very careful about the advice you get even those you read on the Internet.
Beware Of Your Friends.
Be careful to what your friends tell you to do. They may think they are helping you but in reality they are making it hard for you to recover. You will find that your friends tell you to go to a bar to meet new people or they may try to hook you up with someone.
I’ll tell you this if your broken heart is not ready, you will get heartbroken even more.
Imagine a person admitted to the hospital with a back injury, few hours after been released from the hospital he decide to go back to work (that heavy construction work). Even though he might think he is ok, his back is not. Any excessive work will break his back but this time he might not be able to recover quickly.
A bad relationship is like having a back injury. You have to heal your back first before you go back to work. When you break up with someone you love, you break your heart to the point that you will need sometime to heal before you start a new relationship.
Time Will Tell
You really need this time to feel better about yourself; you need this time to appreciate that you are a special human being, the one who has never been before. When you are heart broken you lose this kind of worthiness. You think that you are not important. Your heart is still sore.
Since it takes some time to heal, most people can’t wait and they start a new relationship few days (or even weeks) after break up, only to find that they are getting themselves into a nightmare. They get heart broken and they repeat the process, going nowhere..
You learn how to heal as quickly as possible…I mean in a short time… and you will be able to move on in your life. Do the things you like to do…feeling more powerful and loved. That is the only way to survive a break up, otherwise you will just be mourning all day long with your ex pain..